Kitty Barf 11: Kitty Can’t Read
The Gestae of the RPA
Mar 14, 2025
This column was spawned by a realization of how much my children’s cat and the Republican Party of Arkansas (RPA) are alike. To know why it’s called Kitty Barf, you can begin reading here.
Today, we take note of an important problem facing Arkansans-they are only quasi–literate. According to Representative Rose, those tricky ballot titles are too long. They have complicated words that the average Arkansan can’t understand. Some of the words, the average Arkansan cannot even pronounce-like “amendment.”
The Republicans have a solution. Rather than, you know, educate the peasants, the Republicans’ idea is to dumb it down for them. To protect the peasants from themselves, they have now mandated that you cannot have a ballot title that has a readability score of higher than eighth grade.
Eighth grade. Way to aspire to new heights Kitty!
Senator Hammer already passed a bill, that Governor Sanders signed (as a side note, does that make it a Cat Act?), that forces canvassers to read ballot titles to the signer. Now, the reading cannot be higher than an eighth-grade level. First off, I challenge anybody to write a legally acceptable ballot title with an eighth-grade readability level.
Next, doesn’t that presuppose that the business of government functions at an eighth-grade level? I mean, it’s not supposed to at least. The language of the law is not so subtle as to fit into an eighth-grade book. For example, I drafted a ballot title that the Arkansas Supreme Court said was legally acceptable in Mitchell v. Norris, 2024 Ark. 148. This ballot title, that was approved and affirmed by the supreme court without dissent or concurrence (read “unanimously”), has a Flesch-Kincaid readability score of 53.6 grade, or “college graduate.”
Meow baby. That legal education really paid off.
The ballot title at issue is below:
An Ordinance that requires all elections in this County, except for only those voters with disabilities who may continue to use a voting machine, be conducted with secure paper ballots containing inherent security features designed to prevent unauthorized duplication; with vote selections marked by hand using permanent ink placed directly on the ballot by the voter in a manner which continues to both insure and ensure the secrecy of the votes cast on the ballot and the anonymity of the voter casting the ballot; requiring that the certification of all elections be based on a hand count of the votes performed and verified by human intelligence; and directing the Quorum Court to allocate funding to effectuate and implement the terms of this Ordinance.
Now, if there is anyone who does not understand what this title means, please let me know. And, if you did read it, but did not understand it, how about you just don’t sign it because you didn’t understand it.
Houked on phonexs werkt for Kitty?
Attorney. America First. Sued Hunter Biden for child support. Represented President Trump in the 2020 Wisconsin election challenge. Former attorney for the Wisconsin Special Counsel. An official “Tough Cookie” per President Trump.
Luv luv luv does this mean congress will now be writing all their bills using an 8th grade education level standard? Isn’t this saying that we’ve failed at our education goals when everyone graduating should be at a 12 grade level. Seems the more we spend on education the more illiterate we become. I think we can see from the discrepancy between our voters and our congress it’s not the title that’s the the problem for the voter. It’s a problem for congress and it’s the only way left they can think of to shut down the will of the people. Running petitions has never been easy so now they’ll just penalize the canvassers. I wish they spent this much time on constraining lobbyists and facilitating our freedoms. Barfffff!