Kitty Barf 8: The Way of the Kitty

Back again for more comparisons to the Republican Party of Arkansas (RPA) and my kids’ funky looking cat (if you are new to Kitty Barf, it all got started here with Kitty Barf 1). And the cat is strange looking.  He is black with yellow eyes, but he is missing fur between the eyes and top of his head.  This gives him a bewildered and lost look—just like the RPA looks and behaves.

Enough about Kitty’s looks, I don’t want to scare any small children, distraught snowflakes, or otherwise gender confused humans. 

On to Kitty’s charming personality. 

My kids’ gato has a demanding way about him.  Kitty wants what it wants, when it wants it, and it wants it right now.  Kitty would pray for patience, but the prayer would go like this: “God, give me patience and I want it right now.”  Yes, Kitty has all the patience in the world because he has never used a single drop of it.

Recently, I had the opportunity to watch the bamboozled Kitty in action.  I tuned into a Senate committee meeting.  I tuned in to the free video and didn’t attend because the bills at issue were mostly about this cunning attorney I know who fooled Kitty into chasing its own tail.  They did not want to hear from me.

And apparently, they did not want to hear from anyone else either.  Though people drove from all over the state to give Kitty their thoughts on the bills and whether they should be passed or failed, Kitty could not be bothered.  “There are four or five pages of names,” said Senator Scott Kitty. 

The esteemed committee chaired by Senator Scott Kitty was not in love with the idea of letting the peasants speak.  “We’ll be here all day,” remarked Senator Jim Kitty.  “I make a motion to end debate,” proudly said Senator John Kitty.  “Wait,” said Senator Bryan King, “let’s not cut off the time altogether.”

Then came the lone Democrat of reason on the hill.  “A lot of people came a long way and gave up their day, took off of work, and want to speak,” said Senator Clarke Tucker.  “We should not just deny of them of their ability to communicate with the legislature (he really meant Kitty but is too classy to say it out loud).”

“Let’s give them three minutes each” yelped Senator Kitty.  “Wait, there are fifty names of people who will speak, at a mere three minutes each.” “This means that they would speak, and we’d have to listen to them, complain for hours when are going follow the plan we made behind closed doors in caucus anyways.”

“Good point, we don’t care about the stinkin’ peasants, let them eat cake!” Yay for Senator Kitty?

And just like that Kitty cut off the debate at 1:15 p.m. so it could eat the free food paid for by my tax dollars which is hidden behind locked and closed doors before taking the plushy chairs on the plushy carpet of the Senate floor. 

Et tu, gato?

Clinton W. Lancaster

Attorney. America First. Sued Hunter Biden for child support. Represented President Trump in the 2020 Wisconsin election challenge. Former attorney for the Wisconsin Special Counsel. An official “Tough Cookie” per President Trump.