DOPER

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Jan 4, 2025

DOPER Cheech Chong
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DOPER

The Department of Political Enforcement Resolution

 

Introduction to DOPER

Looking out the window at what feels like the gazillionth day of rain, I decided through no obvious attempt at thought, to come up with the title for a post. You see that title above, catchy and having nothing to do with the content of the post. DOPER stands for “The Department of Political Enforcement Resolution”, a federal or state (or both) function whose purpose is resolution (hence the word in the title) of political wrongs done by a previous administration, or by whoever is in power now. DOPER has no allegiance to any one or any party, only cleaving to the truth, whatever its source.

An example of a DOPER qualified action would be the creation and subsequent use of the Steele Dossier (SD). I pick this as an example because it is thoroughly political in nature, it was created to meet a political, not a legal, need, and in fact the SD resulted in illegal acts by government officials.

DOPER will research all the ins and outs of the SD, and make the results of its investigation available to law enforcement for use in possible prosecutions.

Why create DOPER in the first place?

DOPER is created to place political investigations in a known place, to not waste law enforcement resources on what may be an injured pride rather than an actual crime. There were more than enough actual crimes committed in the last four years to keep law enforcement busy without the added burden of taking on political actions that may have incensed the public but broke no laws. Actions like these, despicable but not illegal, will be brought into the light so everyone knows what happened. Those assigned responsibility for any of the actions looked into by DOPER would, in deference to fairness, be given an opportunity to defend their actions, and additionally, the guarantee that the defense presented will be included in its entirety with no editing.

Why do we need DOPER?

Any investigation by a law enforcement agency immediately leads some people to believe a crime has been committed. After all, isn’t investigating crimes one of the things that law enforcement does? DOPER will look at situations, happenings, or actions that may distasteful, but still may not be illegal. In this capacity, DOPER is a clearinghouse for accusations without official law enforcement involvement. This prevents background noise from using resources law enforcement needs to combat actual crimes.

What would DOPER do?

DOPER will look into situations or actions that are perceived to be “wrong” by some person or group, and will determine if, in fact, any illegal act was committed. If there is evidence of an illegal act, as against the distasteful but legal act described above, the evidence of the illegal act will be forwarded to law enforcement with a recommendation to prosecute. DOPER will have access to investigative tools like subpoena and FOIA, however invasive tool like wiretaps will not be allowed. If an offense is so well hidden that DOPER requires the invasion of a subject’s privacy, that matter should be referred to law enforcement.

What would DOPER not do?

DOPER will not prosecute any criminal cases, and in fact is forbidden to use any law enforcement resources to perform its assigned task. All resources are to be either internal or contracted outside assistance, and none of these resources are allowed police powers. This will prevent cross-contamination with existing law enforcement and help to continue the independence of both parties.

Who would be affected/targeted by DOPER?

Those responsible for egregious acts, legal or illegal, would be targeted by DOPER. In the example of the SD above, the person targeted is Hillary Clinton and whoever assisted her in the creation and promulgation of the SD. If any criminal acts were uncovered, they would be referred, not acted upon.

What are the political aims of DOPER?

DOPER is designed to end the continued call for revenge coming from both political parties as a result of some alleged “wrong” perpetrated on one by the other. By bringing the facts of these acts to light and either exposing the wrongdoer in a non-criminal setting or recommending prosecution if a crime is alleged, the need to respond in kind is acted upon and hopefully there will be fewer political “dirty tricks,”

Where would DOPER reside?

DOPER should be an independent organization that may be funded through any agency. The head of DOPER should have access to the heads of the executive branch and the heads of law enforcement agencies, however DOPER should be independent of all law enforcement agencies.

Who would DOPER report to?

It is assumed DOPER will report to the chief executive officer of the government.

At what level of the government would DOPER live?

This is where it may be confusing. DOPER will report to the CEO (President or Governor) however it’s not a cabinet level agency or group. DOPER’s function is more of a consulting group than an existing agency. DOPER will have oversight from Congress, the same as all Executive Branch functions.

Is there really any offense that is out-of-bounds to DOPER?

DOPER’s purview should be limited to ten or twelve years prior to its establishment, with the time-frame rolling forward. DOPER will not take any action except referral in cases of criminal acts, and will do a complete review of non-criminal but distasteful acts.

What does DOPER need to do to declare victory?

Each investigation concluded is a victory. If the existence of DOPER makes politicians more aware of the possible consequences of dirty tricks, and the number of incidents decreases, that is also a victory.

Closing

As with any government activity, DOPER needs to be closely monitored to prevent mission creep, growth for the sake of growth, and pursuing political aims themselves. With proper oversight this is possible, however citizens must also watch closely so that the tool of our renewed freedom is not perverted into the tool of our repression.

Your comments on this flight of fancy are encouraged.

On a more serious note, the disaster victims in North Carolina still need help. We encourage you to do what you can to assist our fellow citizens in their time of need. We recommend Samaritan’s Purse or Mercury One as already on the ground and doing excellent work. Thank you.


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